That was my first time to acknowledge kind of gypsian-psychic stuff, tarot reading. At first, I thought tarot reader would be a woman, with a free boho-spirited dress, a curly mixed afro haircuts, covered by bowler hat and a collection of cards in her grips as what has been portrayed by Madam Simza Heron, one of characters in Sherlock Holmes 2.
Beside the cards and the curly hairs, the woman looked different. She is young, easy to smile (I dunno whether this one is merely one of hospitality requirements as a service provision but I like it), and a pair of glasses in her nose. I’m quite nervous and try to laugh as much as I can do. This must be something wrong to try, I whispered inside.
She offered me a chance to pick up a topic about life; workplace, love or whatever things that intrigues me a lot. I don’t have any idea and just ask her back what kind of questions that mostly people asked. She said, Love. Haha. Love is still becoming a very intriguing topic, eh?
How about you, Raa? Is it?
Yes, okay, let’s talk about love.
“I’m so new into this. What should I do?”
She guided me to shuffle the card and cut the deck. In the process, I noticed my hand is trembling as I’m nervous; curious and deny that this is not something big. It is a merely experience.
I cut the deck and choose four cards randomly.
She opened it and read it to me. Before she opened her mouth, I mumbled, “Is that something bad?”
She smiled and her gaze offers me a try-to-comfort look.
I smiled back.
She kept the silence for a while and take a long breath.”The first card told that you’re in an overwhelming situation.”
Where does this lead to?
“If it goes with being in a relationship, kinda confuse whether or not you want to start or… yeah.”
Shit. That was the idea that hanging out in my head for these latest 2 weeks.
“Then, there will be a message. I don’t know what is the message, and who is the messenger, but this message will affect you. That leads to card number four, whether you need to nurture yourself, or your partner.”
How should I react on this?
I smiled back and think that this is not something that I really want to talk about and continue to ask questions related to my job.
I know deeply, it is just a distraction to say to myself that this whole things of tarot reading has absorbed my thoughts into a person, Aa.
I was there with a person, namely I used to called as Aa. He’s busy on the phone, and I certainly enjoyed this hype by myself.
Aa, is a man who I met in this beginning of the month. It was an event in Bandung, interfaith dialogue that I have involved in since last year. He is a christian, a lecturer and a musician. I don’t know why this writing becomes so… descriptive and formal. This is not the intention I want to write this down.
Lets take a breath, Raa.
This is an experience of life that I took a lesson. This is my 22nd year of me—being alive and encounter that kind of moment, pre-initial knowledge that in this age I capable of doing “something” as adult. I’ve got and understood a lot of theories related to sex, but it’s so zero about the act; the application; the things in real. I am a newbie, a beginner.
I want to sleep for an hour. Bye. Let’s continue this later on.